Although I have been documenting my pregnancy quite extensively in private, I have refrained up to this point from posting too much online about my maternity experience. In part because it’s hard to balance a wedding photography blog with pregnancy stories and also because, to be frank, my pregnancy experience hasn’t been sweet-smelling roses. Pregnancy is hard. Your body is growing and incubating a human. Of course it’s hard.

From week 6 through week 25 (a solid 130-some days straight, but who’s counting?), I was vomiting. A lot. I tried multiple prescriptions, essential oils, Sea-Bands, and pretty much anything else that was suggested to me. My weight loss was pretty immediate and substantial as you can imagine and for a long time, I didn’t have to wear maternity clothes since I was at my lowest weight in several years. I didn’t get a complete break until somewhere around week 28 or 29. From there on out, it’s been hit or miss, but thankfully, mostly miss.

As a wedding photographer, I’ve had two main concerns this wedding season: 1) keep myself and my baby hydrated, rested, and healthy and 2) give my clients the wedding experience they deserve despite me feeling sick much of the time. In many ways, having the pressure of wedding days on my plate helped keep me occupied and, for at least that one day, I would force myself to feel good and ignore (as much as possible) the down-sides of my pregnancy.

Right now, I’m in the middle of week 35, with exactly 1 month before my/his due date. We’ve completed the nursery, started the hospital bag, finished our childbirth education classes & hospital tour, and begun our final preparations before d-day, knowing he could come early…or late.

In the past week I’ve noticed myself slowing down a bit more. Part of it is this beautiful fall weather and the early sunset, but most of it is just the general body fatigue that comes with being pregnant and nearing the end. I’m working hard to finish up all of my business operations (and one last wedding this weekend) and get everything wrapped up so that I can rest with my little boy through the end of the year.

When I think back to the first 2/3rds of my pregnancy, I realize how much better I feel now. I am dealing with the acid reflux (an apple & milk every day–who knew?) and insomnia better than I ever could with vomiting. Also, the end is in sight and that makes everything just a bit more bearable.

I remember early on having to remind myself every day that my misery (from being so sick) would be a lot of women’s joy. I still have to stop myself sometimes from my unending complaining and hormonal emotional swings and remember that I am so blessed to be carrying a child, my child, our child. He is healthy, he is safe, and he is loved. That reminder helps keep things in perspective for me and I know that I can make it through these next few weeks.

Pregnancy is hard, yes. But I’m grateful that we get to welcome this little son of ours into our family and, truly, it’s a miracle what my body has been able to do these past 9 months to get him here. Soon. So soon.

(For more, you can follow along on Instagram with the hashtag #bebecrall.)