I joined the gym a month ago. I couldn’t run anymore outside because it was too cold. I also figured that with my shin splints, I should probably try doing something other than sidewalk running. Thus, I joined the gym.

So far, I have been able to avoid the classes. Although I secretly want to try them out, I’m deathly afraid that I will be terrible and make a fool of myself in front of the whole class. It’s like that feeling in elementary when you forgot to bring a show-and-tell item and so you have to make up something impromptu like pulling out a crayon from the box, unwrapping it, scuffing it up a bit, and then telling the class that you made it from a homemade recipe with food coloring dye. Yes, embarrassing and foolish.

I made it through one early morning spinning class, but hated that so much that I haven’t gone back. (I had a terrible case of sore biker’s butt for several days!) All in all, I have used the weights and the treadmills, elipticals, etc. All the normal things that normal people like me should use.

Last night I decided to try the BodyAttack class. All of the things that I had heard about it was that it was a hard, but fun class. Word to the wise, never listen when things sound ridiculous. I should’ve known. Given my non-coordination, I should have known.

Within the first 2 minutes, I thought I was going to die. In the next 4 minutes, I thought I was going to cry. The instructor, though very nice, kept looking at me as she would explain again how to kick your leg and I knew that she was thinking, “Oh, good grief. This girl is a workout nightmare.”

Apparently, my brain has a hard time reversing images. I never knew this before. I only discovered it last night in class when I realized that, unless the instructor turned around so her back was to us, I could not for the life of me reverse what she was doing. I could only mirror her. So that meant when she (and everyone else) was kicking her left leg, I would kick my right leg. Right arm, left arm. And so on it went.

I thought that class would never end. To make all matters worse, there are mirrors lining the walls. That’s great if you’re a prima ballerina and need to work on technique, but when you’re supposed to be doing the Superman and end up doing a lumpy-bumpy, my-leg-can’t-kick-while-I’m-also-jumping-sideways, tripping toddler version of the Superman, it is not a good idea to have a 4-way vision of yourself.

I have to recoup before I will ever consider going back. I don’t know if it’s embarrassment or the sheer toughness of the workout that has me most pained, but I am leaning strongly towards embarrassment. If I do it again, I should probably wear a full ski mask so no one will know who I am. Maybe that will help. God forbid anyone from that class would recognize me on the street!!