In the span of three months—just since your first birthday—you’ve grown so much I can hardly keep up. You are now walking and running, talking (“pees” – please, “booboo” – blueberry, “mama”, “dada”, “Henwee” – Henry, “Annie”, “pupu” – puppy, “bwuh” – brush, “aw dooo” – all done, “baby”), you’ve gotten more teeth, you are riding a little tricycle around…I mean, it’s hard to keep up, literally as well as emotionally.
I had forgotten how much I love this age, like truly love it. You have so much personality pouring out of your little tiny frame and you have so many feelings, sometimes outrageous silliness and sometimes intense frustration.
When you were placed in my arms, you weighed just over 6 pounds. You retain your nickname of “Peanut” with you weight hovering around 18 pounds while your height is a full 10 inches taller.
In comparison to your brother, my pregnancy with you was easy. Hardly any sickness. Hardly any acid reflux. I was able to work out the entire way through (most memorably working out the morning of your due date when you still hadn’t appeared). And when you still weren’t here by the new year, we left Henry at your grandparents’ house and went in early in the morning on January 2nd for me to be induced.
Birthing you was, dare I say, also easy. In part because I’d already gone through induction before so I knew what to expect and I knew to get my epidural early this time. So at 10:00 AM when my nurse came in to start pitocin, the anesthesiologist also came in to get my epidural going. I ended up only having about 10 minutes of severe contractions before the epidural was in place and kicked in, which was sheer relief in comparison to what I was anticipating.
A year ago, we were in the final countdown to your birth. Things seemed to be moving along easily and I honestly thought you would be a Christmas baby. I remember singing at church for the Christmas program and we joked that I might go into labor on stage and bring new meaning to “live nativity.” But, just like your brother, you were comfy in there and needed a little assistance to motivate you to come out.
And now, in what seems like a snap of the finger, we’ve been holding you in our arms, kissing your chubby cheeks, and tickling your tummy for 11 months. Oh, how we love and adore you.
You’re a complete daddy’s girl. You love him so much and particularly being held by him. You hear the door to the garage open and instantly speed crawl that direction, jabbering “dadadadada”. (You also jabber “mamamamama”, but I’m definitely second fiddle to your daddy.)
Four years ago, you took your first breath. You were placed in my arms and you just looked at me, not crying, just taking it all in, this strange journey you had just managed from inside to outside. I loved you from the moment I found out you existed, growing inside of me, but in that moment, untethered of me and your own self-existing human, I loved you more than I ever dreamed possible.
You’re getting so close to one year and it’s giving me all the feels. These past ten months have flown by and I’m sad that you’re growing so quickly, while also reveling in all your new developments. You’re my baby and I’m trying to hold onto you as long as I can, even as your chubby legs are starting to get stronger and your tummy is starting to lose the baby fat.
I remember the exact moment when I realized that Henry was growing up. It was when he was much older than you are, probably two or so, and I picked him up and he fit his legs perfectly around my waist as he sat on my hip. And I realized that there would quickly come a day when he wouldn’t fit on my hip anymore. (Spoiler: just yesterday I tried to pick him up so he could see something and he doesn’t fit anymore.) You’re still firmly in the fit-on-my-hip stage and you love being held so you’ll find me or your daddy anywhere, climb up against our legs, and beg to be held.
Nine months. You’ve been out as long as you were in. That blows my mind because pregnancy seemed to last forever and now, bam, you’ve been in our arms for nine months already! I constantly have to pause myself and remember that all those things I was looking forward to—the smiling, the babbling, the crawling, sitting up, sleeping, discovering—it’s all happening right now. Somehow those moments I was looking forward to just happened without any warning.
You are crawling everywhere now with ease, pulling up on anything you can. I’ve even caught you standing on top of things, which of course is terrifying for me. You love playing with Henry’s toys, particularly his farm toys and I think it’s because those little tractor tires and plow hooks feel really good on your gums. We’re on a fast-track (for both of you) in learning to share.
You got your first tooth a few weeks ago. It came in with a runny nose and a grumpy few days, but finally it popped through and you resumed being happy again. The other bottom front tooth right beside it is working it’s way through now too so we’re heading into another stretch of #allthefeelings.
Up to this point, you didn’t experience much clinginess when I’d leave you. I remember Henry hitting a stretch of time around 4 months old where he would cry anytime I’d leave him. You didn’t do that…until now. Places you go all the time, daily to the gym daycare, for example, and yet the moment I put you down and leave, you start wailing. I’m told that as soon as I leave you’re fine, but you can’t stand to see me walk away. Similarly, when you’ve got a tooth popping through, you don’t even want to be put down when we’re at home. Full arms over here and lots of multitasking.
You love to eat and the faces you make with new tastes and textures makes me laugh. You’ve been drinking from a sippy cup for months now with ease, but you discovered Henry’s water bottle and now you really want to use a straw cup.
You’re still a champion sleeper, sleeping 12 hours at night and 2 long naps during the day. We’re so grateful for good sleepers. You prefer your crib to sleep so it’s hard to do any morning play dates for Henry, but occasionally, we do anyway and after fussing around for a while, you’ll usually fall asleep in the carrier. When we’re home though, you don’t even want to be rocked anymore before bed. You just want to get in your bed and lay down. The most fun thing is when you wake up and stand up in your crib waiting for us to come get you.
This past month has been filled with so much growth: crawling, climbing, pulling up, walking with help, first tooth! It’s all happened so fast and it’s been so fun to see you discovering your capabilities. I will always be cheering you on.
I love you, baby girl.
Loves: crawling, pulling up on furniture, eating food, having people talk to you/getting attention, “talking”, your pacifier, your brother, your brother’s toys