All the years of my life, I never questioned that when I got married I would change my last name.  That was just what women did.  Even in the years of dating Kevin, I tried putting the “Emily” and the “Crall” together just to see how it would sound.  I told Kevin, without hesitation or prompting, that I would change my last name when we got married.  It wasn’t until the last few weeks leading up to the wedding that I started to panic.

All my life I was Emily Miller.  I was Emily Miller the daughter of Perry & Carolyn Miller.  Emily Miller, the starting setter and captain of the volleyball team.  Emily Miller, the pianist.  Emily Miller, the layout editor of the school newsletter.  Emily Miller, the good student who got good enough grades to almost be a teachers pet, but enough of a rebel to still be “cool”.  Emily Miller, the singer/pianist of the 02 Band.  Emily Miller, the esthetician.  Emily Miller, the girl who lived in Uzbekistan (“You lived where?”).  Emily Miller, the Buckeye fan.  Emily Miller, the trend-setter.  (I didn’t say it; they voted it in high school.)  Emily Miller, the girl who matches her coffee mug with her outfit with her earrings with her shoes with her eye shadow.  Emily Miller, the TSD employee.

Etc., etc.

Suddenly, I felt like my entire identity was being taken away.  In a matter of one signature, I was not Emily Miller anymore.  I was a completely new person: Emily Crall.  It was tough.

I realize that I still possess the qualities that I possessed before.  I still sing.  I still play piano.  I still play volleyball (winter leagues now; not high school).  I am still a Buckeye fan.  I still match my coffee mug, outfit, earrings, shoes, and eye shadow.  I still work at TSD.

The first 4 months especially were tough for me.  It has now been over 6 months since I changed my name and I am finally okay.  I’ve even added a few new accomplishments to my name.  I’m Emily Crall, the runner.  Emily Crall, a wife.  Emily Crall, the Pilates trainer.

A part of me will always be Emily Miller, but the bigger part of me is becoming more comfortable in my skin as Emily Crall.