Her door is always closed.  It’s hard to know if she’s there, but then again where else would she be?  The light was off so the room was dark.  I thought maybe she truly was gone somewhere, but then I found her behind the door in her full slip, trying to tug on her dress.  She had just gotten back from a whirlpool bath.  Her room was hot and humid like before, yet she wore another blue (her favorite color) long-sleeved dress and pulled a sweater around her.  I was sweating just looking at her.

My grandma still didn’t know who I was today, but today it was easier to handle.  I was expecting it.  I was prepared–fully–for her to not to know me.  I took my two nieces with me and she knew that they were my brother’s girls, but she couldn’t place me, though to her credit, she did know that I must be part of the family since I was bringing them with me.

My heart didn’t plummet like before when she asked who I was.  It just did a little tricky skip and then returned to normal pattern.  She was quiet today.  Kylie filled in the silence with her high-pitched adorable voice and vocabulary far beyond her age.  She had a lot to say and she said it all.  Grandma was mesmerized by her, trying to keep up with her stories and random thoughts.

Smiling.  Grandma was smiling watching Kylie sitting in the chair talking away.  Grandma’s eyes crinkled and her cheeks folded into a thousand tiny folds of wrinkles.  Every part of her face seemed breakable in a fragile, thin, wrinkled way.  But she was smiling.  She was enjoying the moment.

I positioned my camera on my lap and blind-shot a photo of her, knowing how her smile would fade if she knew the camera was aimed at her.  She’s very self-conscious about things like that.

In the middle of her talking, Kylie spotted some the container of cardboard animal cut-outs and colored shoelaces to “sew” and she pulled those out.  Her and Mckenna each picked an animal to stitch around and Grandma claimed she’d never seen those animals before.  Kylie piped up, “Each animal has a string.  I like blue.”  Grandma exclaimed, “You do!?  Blue is my favorite color too!”  It was the most excited I’d seen her in a while.