People in high school always knew when it was test day for Ms. Emily Miller.  I wore my fake glasses.  I felt smarter and honestly did better on my tests when I had my frames on, a mental game at its finest.

I don’t know where this idea of wearing fake glasses sprang from, but I do remember all the way back to 1st grade when a fellow classmate got glasses.  I was morbidly jealous of her.  So jealous, in fact, that I shamefully formed a little circle of other female first graders and told them that when she came to school with her new glasses, we all needed to pretend like we didn’t notice because she just wanted the attention.  (Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I just admitted that.  I was a mean girl.)  Realistically, I was so jealous.  I wanted glasses too.

Fast forward to my 10th birthday when my aunt got me my very first pair of fake-o’s.  I loved them.  They were circular, golden-rimmed frames that were utterly awful, but so freaking cool!

Thankfully, I got over those and sailed onto better horizons when I started purchasing my plastic-rimmed uber-cool, geeky-squad glasses.  I still have them, all three pairs.  They are still pretty cool.  I wore them to take tests because they made me feel smart and a girl needs to feel smart in order to be smart, right? 

The greatest luxury of all of this was that I didn’t have to wear them if I didn’t want to.  People with glasses couldn’t believe that I would wear frames, but they didn’t understand.  I didn’t have to wear them every day, only on days that I felt like or when the glasses accesorized with my outfit. 

I come from a family full of glasses.  Everyone in my family wears glasses, with the exception being my father, who only got reading glasses several years ago (and he’s pushing halfway through his 60s!).  I guess I got his good eye genes because, at the age of ripe old 24, I had my first eye exam last week.

It’s not that I can’t see, but I have noticed lately that distance objects are harder for me to read.  I used to pride myself in reading things much further away than people can usually read.  Now, I can’t so much.  I was terrified that I was going to have to get real glasses and wear them every day.

Turns out, my eyes are healthy as a horse.  I have slight near-sightedness which I have a prescription for.  The good news with this is that I only need to wear my new glasses as needed for things like watching TV, taking pictures, etc.  But I don’t even have to wear them to work if I don’t want to!  I am, however, becoming quickly addicted to them after I picked them up tonight.  As I drove home, I was mesmerized by the detail of the leaves on the trees!!  I kept tilting my head down and looking over my rims, then back up to look through the lenses.  I could not believe the difference!!!  When I came home, I told Kevin that it was like everything was in 3D.  He cocked his head a little to the side and said, “Um…everything in life is 3D, Emily.”

“No, I mean, now it’s really 3D!” I said.

“You mean,” he replied, “that everything is in HD?”

Oh.  Well, regardless, it’s crystal clear now.

P.S.  At this point, I was going to have a contest to see if you could pick out the real glasses from my current prescription pair and my three fake pairs, but I can’t find my favorite fake pair and I tore the house apart searching…  All that to say, sorry, no contest at this time.  I know, bummer, right?


Addendum:  If you need a great eye doctor, I highly recommend Professional Eye Care in Coralville.  Dr. Hotsenpiller walked me through the entire exam with a lot of explanations and care.  (I was really worried about my first eye exam.)  Not only that, but they are very professional and affordable if you don’t have eye insurance.  Tell them Emily sent you.  I’m not sure what that will do exactly, but I’m sure they’ll be as nice to you as they were to me.