When were in premarital counseling, we were told this true story about another couple.  

Once upon a time, there was a husband and wife who had their good days and their bad days.  Sometimes, they didn’t feel like talking about stuff or just needed time to calm down before talking.  They devised a system using an ugly fake porcelain dog that sat in front of their fireplace.  If they needed a moment (or more than that) for their own before sharing their frustrations with their spouse, they would turn the dog around to face the fireplace, with his back to the room.  That way, without even needing to speak, the other spouse would know not to push the issue, but to give some space and time.  Because, as much as they were best friends and happily married, they were still two individuals who might just need some alone time to think.

Our marriage counselors told us that story.  It’s true.  I found this idea to be both clever and helpful.  Because, let’s face it, there are sometimes you just want to organize your alphabet soup before pouring it out into someone else’s bowl and seeing the letters get mixed up again.  

So when we were on our honeymoon, we picked up this little yellow turtle in the gift shop and chose it as our own ugly, fake, porcelain dog.  When we got home, we placed him on our bookshelf and let him nod his head to the beat of our house rules and when we just want some time to settle our thoughts, we make him look the other way.  Then we both know with a quick glance to the bookshelf, it’s “me” time around here.  

We’ll talk later.