My darling boy,

Your laughter is beautiful and your smiles come so easy. You continue to be a really happy little boy. Unless you are in a new environment in which case you cry a sobbing, terrified wail. That’s been a new development this past month, the scared thing. It started the week before Easter when we were in Ankeny and continued for Easter in Kalona. You get so overwhelmed with the new surroundings and people and it just scares you to pieces. (Read also: the daycare at the gym…) You really like home base of either me or your daddy.

Your personality has developed even more this past month. Aside from those rare moments of being scared, you laugh a lot, talk a lot, and smile so much that it’s sometimes hard to take photos of you not smiling.

With each passing month, I find myself happier and happier being your mama. I have loved you from the start, my sweet. I have loved you so much that I ache. Yet looking back, those first weeks and months were so so so hard on me. I remembering someone telling me that it gets easier and that it’s okay if the newborn phase isn’t my strength. I’m so glad I was given permission to feel that way! Because it really wasn’t my strength. I did it; we made it through. But as you continue to grow, I find myself enjoying this new role of mine more of more. I think I must thrive on the interaction aspect because the more you socialize and interact, the more fun it becomes.

We’ve fallen into a really good routine. We go outside, we go to story time at the library, we read books, we sing, we go on walks, we go to the park, we go to the gym (we’re working on that one; remember the whole being scared thing?). When you were born, I thought my life had ended. I’d never be able to go outside again. I’d never be able to go to the gym or to the mall or out to eat. I’d never do anything normal again. But it turns out, my life didn’t end; it changed. It takes more coordination now and more planning to do those things, but they are not at all impossible.

You currently take 3 naps during the day; two long ones (one in the morning & one in the early afternoon) and then one short one in the late afternoon. You love your crib and don’t usually like to be rocked anymore. We sing a song and then I lay you down. You talk to yourself for a minute or two and then go to sleep. Considering how badly we fought naps for the first 4 months, this is such a breath of fresh air!!!

You continue to be a great night sleeper (12 hours solid!). We wake you up at 8 in the morning and you greet us with the biggest smile ever. No one has ever been so excited to see me as you are every morning. Sometimes you’ll wake up a little earlier than 8 and we can hear you in your crib talking and talking. Sometimes you fall back asleep and sometimes you’re still having mono-conversations when we go in to get you up.

You love to stand and jump. We put you in your jumperoo and you just go to town jumping, jumping, jumping. You haven’t even figured out all the toys that are on it; you just think it’s great to jump. And forget rolling; you’d rather stand. I only have to hold onto your hands to keep you balanced and you grin like you’re king of the world. It’s so much fun watching you learn new skills! You are always so impressed with yourself and it’s adorable.

I had my first wedding a few weeks ago and the full wedding season swings into gear in just a few more weeks. Given your current stranger-danger, we’ll see how that goes, but I’m hopeful you’ll outgrow this phase quickly and become your usual happy chatterbox with other people besides us.

Every night when I’m putting you to bed, I thank God that He’s given you to us. I feel like the luckiest mama in the world to have you as my own. You are so very, very loved. It’s hard to describe just how much. Someday when you have children of your own, maybe you’ll understand. For now, just trust me that my love for you is deep and wide and without end. I’m so glad you’re mine.

I love you.

Mama