Hi my little bug,

In the span of three months—just since your first birthday—you’ve grown so much I can hardly keep up. You are now walking and running, talking (“pees” – please, “booboo” – blueberry, “mama”, “dada”, “Henwee” – Henry, “Annie”, “pupu” – puppy, “bwuh” – brush, “aw dooo” – all done, “baby”), you’ve gotten more teeth, you are riding a little tricycle around…I mean, it’s hard to keep up, literally as well as emotionally.

I had forgotten how much I love this age, like truly love it. You have so much personality pouring out of your little tiny frame and you have so many feelings, sometimes outrageous silliness and sometimes intense frustration.

You know where the snack cupboard is and you will go stand in the kitchen under it and say, “pees, pees” while rubbing your belly in a nod to sign language. You get so excited about snacks—you’d eat only snacks all day long if we let you—and you will throw an absolute fit if I take your snack cup away even for a moment.

You can hear the garage door from anywhere in the house and you know that means daddy is home so you start dancing around, excitedly shouting, “Dada! Dada!”

You are constantly keeping an eye on Henry, noticing even if he’s out of sight on the playground equipment, and start calling for him. “Henwee? Henwee?” And you cause a ruckus when we go to pick him up at school because you’re just as excited to see him as he is to see you.

I don’t know if we just didn’t spend the same amount of time devoted to books early on as we did with Henry or if you just weren’t interested, but it’s only been recently that you grab books (“boos”) and come plop don in my lap and want to read. It makes me so happy because, for a while, I was sad that you didn’t have the patience to sit and read.

I’m forever confused if you’re cuddly or not. When it’s time for bed, if you’re really tired, you’ll immediately put your head in your hands and then rest against my chest, hands and head together. If you’re not quite tired yet, you are just squirmy and want to get into your bed with no interest in singing or reading or rocking beforehand. I never quite know what I’m getting into: cuddly snuggle time or restlessness.

In the same vein, if I lay on the floor in the living room, you immediately see me as a a climbing apparatus and you will sprawl all over me, falling off and giggling and begging for tickles.

Since you’re on the move so much, you’re quickly thinning out, making you much more toddler and much less baby, changing healthy fat for strong muscles. Those amazing chubby cheeks will soon disappear completely and I’ll forever miss how squishy and kissable they are. Because of all these muscle changes, you’ve stalled in clothing sizes and you are still firmly requiring 9-12m size in pants or else they just fall off. But, you’re getting taller so you need the length of the larger sizes. I have a feeling you will follow right in your brother’s footsteps and I’ll forever be on the hunt for tall & narrow clothing.

I tell you this every day, multiple times a day, but, my darling, let me never miss the opportunity to tell you again: I love you. I love you beyond measure and more than you will probably ever know. I love you completely and individually. There are so many beautiful, unique treasures about you that make you your own person. The mystery of a parent’s love, that multiplication mystery of loving each of your children equally and yet differently.

I love you, baby girl. I’m forever grateful that I get to be your mama.

Mama