Tonight, it was not amazing. Tonight, they filmed the complete birthing of a baby seal and let me be the first to put it out there: it was not pretty nor was it amazing. It was so gross that I threw up a little bit in my mouth. I also immediately told Kevin that any future plans on children is now out of the question for us unless it is through adoption. He was on board with that.

Look, I’m the first to admit that I absolutely love newborns, but I also think that everything prior to them being all clean and cuddly in a soft blanket is disgusting. Some of you are probably saying, “Oh, you just haven’t experienced it yet.” You’re right. But I have no desire to experience it either and anytime I ever get the urge to have a baby in the future, I have already given Kevin instructions to remind me of the seal.

I’ll never forget standing in the kitchen cutting a pan of fresh coffeecake, looking up at the TV screen to see what Kevin was exclaiming about and seeing that. It just doubled me over and I hid behind the sink with my hand over my mouth.

The miracle of birth is simply that people keep doing it.