I was at my parents’ house the other day and my mom went to grab a garden hoe for me. She apparently has 5 (which is obviously 4 more than she can use) and I just have a little hand shovel so she thought I should have a proper hoe. She came out of the garage with my grandma’s garden hoe that she had just finished sharpening.

Dad caught all of this and decided the hoe wasn’t sharpened enough so he took what I can only describe as a giant nail file looking thing to the metal edge and filed it right down. Then he used his electric sharpening wheel to make it “sharp enough to be able to cut off a groundhog’s head.”

As he handed over the newly re-sharpened garden hoe, my mom said, “Make sure you don’t cut off a toe.”

And just then, the hoe tapped against my leg and cut a slice right through my skin.

The weeds don’t stand a chance.

It’s gotta be good if it can stand on its own, right?